Quick question: How can leaders give effective feedback?

Hannah Beaver (00:02):

You are listening to How To Make a Leader a Leadership Development podcast from Big Think+, where we take the best ideas from the biggest minds in learning and development and distill them into actionable insights. I’m your host, Hannah Beaver. 

One question, one expert answer in about five minutes today, we’ve welcomed back Amy Gallo for a conversation as an author, speaker, and expert in workplace dynamics. Amy is my personal go-to for the how to on difficult conversations and feedback in the workplace. We thought this would be especially timely given that it is peak feedback season. So we hope you enjoy this new mini format.

How can leaders give effective feedback?

Amy Gallo (00:47):

Giving effective feedback is one of the most critical things a leader does for two reasons. Number one, people want feedback. They often complain that they don’t get enough constructive feedback, and many leaders fear that people don’t want to hear what they’re doing wrong or what they need to change, but too often people say they don’t get enough of that constructive input. Of course, you want to give positive feedback, but you also want to give constructive feedback. It’s also an important thing that leaders do because it’s how you help people grow and develop, again, something they really want, something that’s important to you as the lead of an organization or unit or a team. So there’s a tool that I turn to that many experts turn to that’s called SBI, situation Behavior Impact. I also add an intention on either side of that tool, which I’ll explain in a moment, but let me give you the basic tool and then I’ll explain why I add intention there.

(01:48):

So situation, you want to just briefly describe the situation in which you observed the behavior. So yesterday in our team meeting can be as simple as that. A quick phrase, when you observe the behavior, you want it to be pretty recent because you want to give the feedback in a timely manner. You then describe the behavior, and that’s the B, and you can say, I noticed you interrupted Hannah three times. You’ll notice when I share that I don’t have judgment words. I don’t say you rudely interrupted. I don’t say you harshly interrupted. I’m trying to just observe the behavior, keep it as neutral as possible, and then the I in that situation is impact. And you can’t necessarily explain how Hannah might’ve felt about being interrupted, but you can say what you observe. I noticed Hannah didn’t offer any ideas after that third interruption. So that’s a very simple one sentence way to give feedback.

(02:45):

In that meeting yesterday, I noticed you interrupted Hannah three eight times and I noticed that Hannah didn’t share any more ideas after that. Then I add to both ends of that, what is your intention with giving the feedback? So before you even say, I noticed, or you say, I have some feedback, really get clear on your own intention behind giving that feedback. Then you might even share that feedback out loud. One of the things we know from the work on receiving feedback is that we often get triggered. We often think, well, that’s not fair, or that’s not true, or That’s not who I am. So by sharing your intention sometimes it calms some of those triggers, right? My intention here is to help you get that promotion. You really want to be a team leader, and I want to share some feedback that I think will help you get that.

(03:37):

Or you asked for feedback in our last, that’s my intention today is to live up to that promise and to share the feedback. Something I noticed yesterday, so just being clear about why you’re giving the feedback so they don’t make up a story, oh, they’re angry with me, they don’t care about me. They don’t really know who I am. Making your attention explicit helps eliminate some of that noise, unspoken noise that might happen between you. I also add intention at the end of the sentence or the feedback because we often give the feedback, and as I said, one of the triggers that comes up for people is, well, this is not who I am. I’m not someone who interrupts. I’m not rude. And so if you add a different type of intention at the end, which is to say very simply, I know it wasn’t your intention, but I felt the need to share it with you.

(04:31):

Now, it may have been their intention to interrupt or to be rude or to speak over people. Probably not. It actually doesn’t matter. What you’re doing in that moment is showing them, I know you can be better. I know this isn’t core to who you are, and I believe in your ability to change. It’s just reinforcing a sense of growth mindset, both on your part as the person giving feedback, but also on the person receiving the feedback. So they believe and know that you believe they have the ability to behave better and to behave differently. Now, if you are an L and D professional or someone who’s supporting leaders to do better in terms of giving feedback, you can share these tools, the intention, situation, behavior, impact, then intention. That will help a lot. Give someone that simple framework. If you’re in the position of actually coaching them, you can walk them through each step.

(05:30):

What will it sound like now? Most of us are giving feedback pretty quickly, sometimes not with a lot of thought. I encourage you to at least give a little bit of thought. So another thing you can do if you’re supporting leaders is just ask those questions about intention. Well, what’s your intention with giving this feedback? If you have a feedback tool that you use, an online tool or something people fill out, add that question about intention. That’s the thing that’s most often missing. And I can tell you, as someone who’s been in the position of giving direct reports feedback, sometime my intention was just to get this done as quickly as possible. Or sometimes my intention was to get relief from the annoyance I felt at having them exhibit this behavior over and over. Those are not helpful intentions, and those are going to come through that annoyance, that frustration, that impatience. So getting clear on my own intention before I actually say what I’m observing helps me be more present, more connected, and focuses myself on them rather than myself in that

Hannah Beaver (06:35):

Moment. And that was one question from how to make a leader. We’ll be back next month with a new challenge and a new expert perspective. Thanks for listening.

Introducing Quick Questions: one big question, one expert answer, in five minutes.

About Amy: 

Amy Gallo is a workplace expert who writes and speaks about effective communication, interpersonal dynamics, gender, difficult conversations, and feedback. She is the best-selling author of Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People) and the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, as well as hundreds of articles for Harvard Business Review.